Why Pronouns Matter: More Than Just Words 🏳️‍🌈

Introduction: It’s Not Just Grammar, It’s Respect

Have you ever been called by the wrong name? Maybe a teacher mispronounced it, or someone called you by your sibling’s name. It probably felt annoying or even frustrating. Now imagine that happening every day, but instead of a simple mistake, people refuse to use your real name on purpose. That’s what it feels like when someone ignores a person’s pronouns.

Pronouns aren’t just words; they’re a fundamental part of identity. For LGBTQ+ people, especially trans, nonbinary, and gender-nonconforming individuals, pronouns are a way to be seen and respected. Using the correct pronouns is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to show someone that they matter.

What Are Pronouns? 🤔

Pronouns are words that replace names in a sentence. In English, the most common pronouns are:

✅ She/her – Used by many women and some nonbinary people
✅ He/him – Used by many men and some nonbinary people
✅ They/them – Used by many nonbinary people and sometimes as a gender-neutral option
✅ Neo-pronouns (e.g., xe/xem, ze/zir) – Used by some nonbinary people who feel traditional pronouns don’t fit them

Pronouns are personal, and no one’s identity should be up for debate.

Why Do Pronouns Matter? 🌈

1. They Validate Identity

When someone uses the right pronouns, it tells a person, "I see you for who you truly are." For trans and nonbinary individuals, hearing the correct pronouns can feel affirming, while hearing the wrong ones (misgendering) can be invalidating and even painful.

2. They Promote Inclusivity 🤝

Using correct pronouns isn’t just about one person—it’s about creating a space where everyone feels safe and included. When workplaces, schools, and communities normalize sharing and respecting pronouns, they become safer and more welcoming for LGBTQ+ individuals.

3. Misgendering Hurts

Misgendering (using the wrong pronouns) can cause emotional distress, anxiety, and even lead to mental health struggles. It can make LGBTQ+ people feel invisible, disrespected, and unsafe. A small effort to use the right pronouns can prevent a lot of harm.

4. It’s Basic Respect 🙌

If someone introduces themselves as “John,” you wouldn’t insist on calling them “Steve,” right? Pronouns work the same way. Using the right ones isn’t about personal belief or preference—it’s about basic human decency.

How to Be Respectful with Pronouns

✅ Ask First: If you’re unsure about someone’s pronouns, ask politely: "Hey, what pronouns do you use?" or "How would you like to be addressed?"

✅ Share Yours First: When introducing yourself, try saying, "Hi, I’m Alex, and I use they/them pronouns." This normalizes the practice and makes it easier for others to share theirs.

✅ Correct Yourself When Needed: If you accidentally misgender someone, just correct yourself and move on. "She—sorry, they—are coming to the meeting." No need for a long apology; just do better next time.

✅ Educate Others: If you hear someone misgendering another person, gently correct them. "Actually, Sam uses they/them pronouns."

✅ Don’t Assume: Never assume someone’s pronouns based on their appearance. Gender expression and identity don’t always match societal expectations.

What If You Don’t “Understand” It?

You don’t have to fully understand someone’s identity to respect it. If a friend tells you they’re allergic to peanuts, you wouldn’t argue with them or force them to eat peanut butter. The same goes for pronouns. You respect them because that’s what decent people do.

Final Thoughts: Small Effort, Huge Impact 🌟

Using the correct pronouns is one of the simplest ways to show kindness and respect. It’s free, it takes no extra effort, and it makes the world a better place for LGBTQ+ people. So why not do it?

If you want to be an ally, start today. Normalize asking for and sharing pronouns. Correct others when they slip up. And most importantly, listen to and respect the people who are trusting you with their identity.

Pronouns matter—because people matter. 💜